pennies

'it's hard to love someone when you're preoccupied with holding your world firmly in place. loving someone requires a certain amount of malleability, a willingness to be pulled along, at least occasionally, by another person's will.

no one ever got laid because they scheduled it in their day planner.'

the brilliant musings of molly wizenberg, A Homemade Life

An ending happened for me today. I don't know of a single ending that doesn't hurt. Can anyone out there counter for me?! I felt it coming. I saw the signs and sensed the incoming tidal shift. (see posts 'getting better every time' and 'don't throw it away'-) But I rested on how right it had been. I held my breath through the glimpses of doubt, wanting to remain steadfast to the rightness on which it had been built. A foolish grasping by some assessments, but a potential worthwhile investment if the return swings in ones' favor. Not the case for my tender heart: And that is to where the source of pain can be traced-those first few moments of oh so wonderful rightness. So much was invested so quickly on what has now frittered away to so little. I kiss it goodbye, this ending, this loss, with a heartbreaking ache and bittersweet whimper-recognizing the necessity of end, wistfully aching for the gift that had been-yet reassured that, in its fleeting existence, this blessing still holds a place among the possible. In seeking, some things truly can be found. Let there be another penny. Let me pick it up. in love. trish.