A random babbling on creative spirits-

Random babbling on the creative spirit~painting, sewing, baking, boys, an irresistable God and the next 200 feet~

Sunday, December 5, 2010

day


I rise before the sun. I love the darkness of 3am; there's anticipation in it-a lifting of spirits in the quiet, distant sleep-muttered noises that envelope my home. A comfort in the aloneness that is not at all lonely. With the Northwest winter dawn not due for more than 4hours I relish this aloneness like the warmth of a lover's discarded sweater retrieved off the floor in the shaft of moonlight through the frost-speckled window.
Will the light of day bring sunsoaked skies? Will the clouds so familiar to the western Washington hours be light-diffuse among the rays of approaching sun-or heavy with a morning of rain showers and rides to school?
With a honey-kissed cup of tea, musings-filled journal, pen, devotions and bible close at hand I am surrounded by all I need in these early moments. Thoughts that went flying, memories that surfaced and scattered, to do's that persistently peck peck peck, attentions that relentlessly hang on; all put gently back into place, stored in their compartments alongside today, tomorrow and yesterday as I absorb all that is before me and come to the beginning.

I ask, as always in this moment, What is this day for me? Where am I? Where do I work?

My daily determination to attend to this body takes me on a walk just after sunrise; I am not at home where streetlights guide my footfalls when I head out at my favored 5am. Today the rising light of dawn serves as my only light in the gravel-strewn street.
At the end of the hill as the headwaters approach, a small boat with the outboard motor sputtering takes the last swing into dock. Stepping onto solid ground, teetering with a heavy load of fish and an equally weighted smile, a fisherman thrills at my 'good morning' as an opportunity to share his fishing good-fortune with an audience multiplied by 2~I came alongside his dog to witness his bounty~A gift not received each morning; the bounty or the audience.

Smiling my way back up the hill, the incline isn't as breath taking nor heart pumping as it was on the incoming side. Carrying a smile makes the steps swift and the elevation come to level.

The phone never intended to ring rings. I've just returned to my cave tucked under the expanse of studio space I've ensconced myself in for a two week term of residency. After 8 days of no voice, my son's uplifted, enhthusiastic 'hello momma' filled with expoundings on the beauty of the morning he wakes to-with frost on the grass and crisp breath visible-are welcome beyond imagining. He touches me in a way I didn't know needed touching. The silent, played out in determination to offer guidance through quite rather than words, seems to have touched down in just the right way.

To talk with silence: I am learning this.

Just two hours into waxen creations the slidding wall dividers to the adjoining studio strain open. The solar-powered studio production engineer emerges-bouncing on his toes. The excitement is palpable; perhaps simply born of the fact that there is a listening ear present to attend to his sharing....
His words and enthusiasm capture me as I turn back to the wax, just long enough to apologize to it for my neglect as I unplug its heat-realizing my attention is called elsewhere: to enthusiasm today.
Resigning with a light heart and a smile that this is, I am.

It's not about what I do, it's about who I touch~
in love. trish

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

brilliance~

sharing from my EncaustiCamp blog....
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. " marianne williamson

How terrifying: To have this reality of the female heart revealed so blatantly. Perhaps the reality of the human heart.
What if we were to release our sense of the inadequate, realize it truly is a deeply impassioned desire to embrace a power that stirs in us and fully trust in this? What would happen? Where would we be taken on such a faith filled, passionate ride? Who would be impacted by our resolute determination to grab-hold of such a glory and move beyond that first unction to shine brilliantly? Not in and of ourselves, but with a light we cannot control; one that burns through us and grows exponentially, pulling in all who are near to embrace and enlighten and empower?
What if just one of us started?
What if just one of us believed?
What if just one of us trusted in our God given brilliance and awoke each morning to simply let it shine where it may? Just one of us~
in love. trish
shared from my EncaustiCamp site :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I shared and had the blessing come back to me today :)
I made blueberry coffee cake scones (5/18/2009 blog entry 'if I can dream it')and shared them with the administrative staff and another resident here, and today Ariel, a staff member, shared a delectible slice of banana walnut coffee cake. Blessings :))) in love. trish

Sunday, November 28, 2010

EncaustiCamp final instructor added!

Judy Wise has come on board as the sixth and final instructor for EncaustiCamp 2011! Join us-and check out her blog/site!

EncaustiCamp!

For those of you who wish to immerse yourselves into 3 days of encaustic bliss, here is an opportunity to come to Oregon and stay in a camp or hotel setting while taking classes from 3 different instructors and then gathering in the evenings for more wax-directed activities. This is Trish Baldwin Seggebruch's dreamchild and I've signed on because it's close to my home, it sounds like a blast, good teachers are already involved and I want to hang out with a group of people who love the wax as much as I do.
I'll be teaching the same class each of the 3 days so you'll only sign up for me once and then you have your choice of two other instructors. (Bridgette Guerzon-Mills? Be still my heart!) Each of the instructors has a strong background in encaustic and you will have a great time.
My class description for Painting From the Hot Palette : Join Judy Wise for a day of discovery as we mix our own paints from clear medium and colored pigments to create beautiful, original works of art. No previous painting experience is necessary; Judy will guide you through a series of simple exercises that will help you produce 2 finished paintings.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm off :)


I depart in just under two days for a two week spell at Sitka Center for Art and Ecology www.sitkacenter.org. I think it's no secret that this place is just about my favorite retreat; to teach as well as to indulge in a residency. I have been gifted this opportunity and am embracing it fully regardless of all that pulls at me and seems to shout 'take care of me first! me first!'
New ideas and inspiration are just about spilling out of my ears and since the studio has become a full-on production place for encaustikits, and my mind, when at home, is filled with encausticamp and the aformentioned, I will use this time to the fullest and feel the blessings daily. I will pine, don't get me wrong (two weeks without my new husband?!-gasp horrors!) but I will persevere, listen with an open heart, flow creative and gather all that comes my way. Feeling humbly blessed. in love. trish.

Monday, November 1, 2010

choose the master that sets you free

a woman stood on the block; a slave for sale once again. This was her third time standing on this platform. Her third time absorbing the penetrating stares of the men determining if she was fit for their use; their bid. Having withstood two masters who'd decimated her will, her trust, her faith in humanity through rape, abuse and misuse, she stood before them in utter defeat and loss. As the final gavel fell on her purchase, she listlessly followed the tall white man through the crowd to the exit.
Once outside he turned to her: 'You are free.'
Too stunned to react, she stared in perplexed disbelief.
Once again he said: 'You are free. Go where you'd like. Do what you want. Say what you feel. You are free.'
Coming out of her stupor she asks, 'free? to go anywhere I choose?'
'Yes, anywhere you choose,' he replied.
'Then I choose to go with you.'
On this day, the woman chose to live the rest of her life as a servant of Abraham Lincoln.
choose the master who sets you free.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Discontent

Rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams. Ann Landers

The journey will take longer than you hoped.
The obstacles will be more numerous than you believed.
The disappointments will be greater than you expected.
The lows will be lower than you imagined.
The price will be higher than you anticipated.
you must rely on powers outside of yourself to achieve any real dream to any real satisfaction.
But, if the journey continues to inspire and invigorate, the dream is alive and viable and we continue to pursue.

I have trouble staying in one thing for very long. I have marked this a fault for the longest time but in the past few years I am changing my thinking. I am adjusting to my adjusting! I do not consider it a fault any longer, but a blessing. It can be difficult, don't misunderstand; I see a change coming, a pulling away and striving toward, that many would tell me is wrong; that I need to settle in and stay where I'm at. But I disagree. I've been built this way for a purpose. God designed me to continuously, earnestly seek after and I am learning to embrace it amidst my societies scowl~
And now, for a month or more, that niggling in the back of my brain, the tugging of thoughts that I try to ignore, the play by play running in my head in the foggy distance is growing nearer, clearer, more dominate; threatening to overtake my place and shove me smack dab into unknown;into seemingly ill-prepared and as always, the tremenously afraid-albeit in the excited way.
I can see it coming~it's been sneeking up on me for the better part of a year, lurking on the fringes, trying to slip through an ill-forgotten open door to my consciousness amidst my current, distracted discontent. Not that I'm living in a discontented day mind you! It's just been a passing, distant shadow, flitting randomly in and out of my consiousness.
And now it's taken a seat; sitting patiently, hands gently clasped, legs casually crossed, in the back seat of the bus-joining me, as if invited, for this current life-ride. It's been there, hanging about, for a year or so....but in the past few months, discontent has moved forward, anticipating the next move, no longer sitting patiently put leaning forward, straining into the aisle, ready to bolt at the open door as soon as I put my foot to the brake and my hand to the lever...but that's the rub. I have to put my foot to the brake before I can put my hand to the lever.
There comes a point in the growning, changing, seeking, finding where you have to stop in order to start. Where you have to cease one to begin the other. Where you have to let go of the bar so that you can reach out and grab the next. I see it there: The next bar.
I feel discontent sitting there-just behind the drivers seat; breathing heavy in anticipation, heart beating rapidly in prepartion for the next move.
I'm frightened by the letting go; I know the next bar is there for me to grab, but I can not tell how solid it is; I can not tell if it is strong enough to hold me, to sustain me as I swing through all it has and propels me on to the next....
Yet the bar I still cling to is growning weak; my hand is hot and aching from the holding on too long. I feel the pads of my palm calousing from the rub of constantly gripping. It is time to swing forward. I will take the chance. I will release the one to grab the next. I will put on the brake and reach my hand to pull the door lever and watch as discontent bolts from the seat and is released from the ride.
I am so close. I see the next stop.
The next bar looms RIGHT THERE in my sights.
But I am not ready.
I do not feel ready.
I am not quite there.
I do not know what it will take. I do not know what is for me to do. I do not know what it will feel like to know that I am ready. And, when I say it here, I realize I do not need to know.
Discontent was put on the bus with the fare in its clenched fist by a loving father.
The next bar was placed with perfect design and determined planning.
I can rest assured that when I must stop, when I must let go, when I must reach out for the next bar, for the door release, I will know it is my time to do so. I have a father looking out for my ultimate success. I have a Lord interested only in my faithful gain. He will not let me fall. He will not let discontent ride beyond it's stop. I will know when and how to release and grasp when and where he has me to do so.~I can't wait to see where this bus is taking me. I can't wait to see where this discontent gets off. In God alone. in love. trish

Sunday, October 10, 2010

roads. paths of choice

two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.
C.S. Lewis
thank you God.
You begin to awaken to the just-hinting-of-morning light. Your not yet conscious sense is percolating behind your still effortlessly closed eyes as your dream brain does a slow transition to wakeful-day thoughts. You notice as your skin begins to warm to the crumpled covers around you and you feel your hair tangled against your cool, exposed cheek; the first invasion of this new day is beginning.
thank you God.
You open your eyes.
And this, this is Christianity.
in love. trish

Thursday, October 7, 2010

beeswax burnout

I wrote the following blog entry several months ago, never posting it because I wanted to see where I was going-to follow the burnout thread and see if there really was a tidbit at the end of the trail that would respark my creative energies. I truly do trust in this, as I stated in the post, but a small part of me, an old part albeit, surfaces with just enough force to make me pull back from the assurance every once in a while.
And so? Since this writing I invested in the downtime, teaching extensively, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually listening instead of seeking. I made delicious meals, baked gobs of cookies and painted several rooms :) I got married, assimilated households, and talked to people in my life about life a little more.
The result thus far? I am in Portland having just become invigorated by Crystal Neubauer's wax adornment workshop. I was gifted with new directional inspiration from a trip to Sitka Center. I met a wonderful new friend and have begun to see what God has in store for this meeting. I have partaken of the second book production, survived a UTube shoot and gone full-bore into business development. How? Such tremendous creation, such awesome movement and such amazing blessings! God. He provided. He provides. He set my foot down and I haven't stopped (speed) walking with a huge grin on my face ever since! Is it easy? NO! Is it scary?! YES! Do I sometimes want to pull back to the 'nothing' I was? Perhaps-just a smidge. But I remember, God has put me not necessarily on an easy path, but a safe one. And in this, I trust explicitely. Bank account going to business. House being overrun by creation of kits and ideas. Studio transformed into production rather than creation right now. To some a burden; to me, a blessing and what keeps me grinning like a fool, heart lifting out of my chest and each day proclaiming God's gracious mercy a little more boldly. blessings. in love. trish

I'm resigned: I have full-on, can't deny it, beeswax burnout. A little known ailment that strikes encaustic aficionados who've invested intense back to back blocks of time to pure indulgence in the sweet luscious medium. I've fallen victim.


I should've seen it coming; I've been in the studio by 6am-5 for the past few-working til my stomach growls, grabbing a quick fix, digging back in to the wax....The only time out occurs when other-worldly red haired orbs float outside the studio window and beckon for food and clean clothing~


Truth? I've hardly bothered showering-it would've taken too much time out from the studio!


But then this morning happened-just about 10am, I turned from the wax, gazed over the tables of changing surface and all I could do was sigh in finality. I needed to quit. I needed to raise the white flag and surrender to something else!


The multiple stories that have been born aren't finished, I still have ideas rolling through my brain, I want to invest in my time between teaching with all my energies. But. But my creative spirit is crying uncle! It needs a time out to recharge, reprogram and regroup. This is where my multitasking skills come in handy :) I'll turn to home work, baking, bill paying, bookkeeping. I'll open the cupboards and see what tasty concoction I can create for hungry boys. I'll take magic wand in hand and clear out some of the mess that's come to be since the creative energies began running rampant.


I wont turn on the wax though. It will stay opaque and cold; resting undisturbed in its vat, awaiting a new inspiration.


The first time this happened I was scared: Fearing absolute burnout. A final and complete drying up of the creative juices. Alas, time and experience have been friendly and taught me otherwise. This time is sweet; hitting a beeswax wall has great value. The heart recharges and the soul regroups to bring about better, richer, wholer and more blessed creations to carry the initial frenzied creation to completion. I love this place. Life. in love. trish

Monday, October 4, 2010

Are you proud of yourself?

'This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old is gone; the new has begun.' 2 corinthians 5:17

It is so hard, I think for women especially, to say we are proud of ourselves. There is fear of being judge self righteous, boastful or self promoting. Yet, when one turns the concept a bit, realizes that in God this is the only way; to be proud and walk in confidence his path for oneself, self righteousness, boasting and self promotion are impossible. One's whole life, every breath, becomes a testament to God's grace; a glorification of his mercy~
I believe whole heartedly, for the first time in my life, that grace has found its way through the self-inflicted guilt and lacking that I thought was the Me of me. The above phrase alone did it for me: so simple yet so profound. It turned my thinking around, tossed guilt to the curb and cracked off the hardened shell of the self I had made. Revealing the beautiful empowered grace-filled self that God put on this earth with a purpose. The old is gone and the new has begun and I am so proud of myself. I heard His call to me. I trusted in the direction His voice was sending me; to make a much better Me than even my own wildest dreams could conjur. I took hold of faith in that His grace would accept my broken self and allow me to begin walking His path designed exclusively for me. And boy, now I am proud. Like never before I can say with utmost confidence, that I am proud of who I am. in love! trish

Thursday, September 30, 2010

home for 9 days


Home :) Going away makes me appreciate it so much! Here for 9 days after an amazing three day workshop at Sitka Center in Otis, Oregon then driving back down to Portland to indulge in a workshop for myself!, tour a campus, have a business-coffee with a new friend, seek out a new wax supplier, demo at ArtMedia then vend at Art and Soul Saturday night! Whew! So much good stuff on my path; God is glorious :))) in love. trish

Monday, September 20, 2010

changing things up~

I have noticed that my gingerfetish is carrying a lot more musings and life explorations than images, new work or creative inspirations! Therefore, a change is in the air (it's fall, the seasons are changing, so why not the blog posts as well!?)
Starting in October I will continue to use Gingerfetish as my platform for introspective growth, exploration and sharing through stories, life lessons and musing. My new blog, www.encaustikits.blogspot.com will carry all the other good stuff: New work, workshop inspirations, site updates and new merchandise releases! So, I'm going for a split personality :) Find me at www.gingerfetish.blogspot.com and at www.encaustikits.blogspot.com! Both me, just a venue for all of me now! best and blessings~ and both in love. trish

Friday, September 17, 2010

why do we always have to 'do'?!

I started with earnest determination; I would make it work and I would bring about peaceful coexistence. I would DO all that I was asked to do!
I continued in earnestness-resulting in only the flitting of my minutes away in flustered brain thoughts flying here and there yet never landing and never coming to be.
I earnestly-frantically- returned again and again to this resolve to do it right-increasing my tension and reinforced the wall in coexistence.
Then I gave up.
I went to bed.
I slept fitfully.
I dreamt deeply.

I woke up.
I looked back and saw that He wasn't asking me to DO anything.
That He wasn't expecting me to act, or do or make happen. He was asking me to do nothing. He was telling me to shut up and be still :)
It was not a day, an experience, for me. It was for her. And I had to do nothing.

I want to listen next time instead of keeping on talking.....in love. trish.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

now find it

each disciple should check within themselves to see if they have a low-burning pilot light or a blazing fire.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf5WYigZHME

So what of this life right now? What of this moment by moment living we are called to walk in? Is it enough to simply have this confidence of life eternal and coast through the days here on earth until we reach the end of the ride and get off in the heaven we've been promised? Is that what we're here for? Is this enough for the souls, hearts and bodies designed in the likeness of the one who created all? Is this enough of an experience to shine this love that out shines all love?
Coasting can be so boring. Coasting can be safe and comfortable and feel secure, but it is oh so not enough. Turn up the heat; ignite the pilot light and come along~

Coasting may lead to the same end; we will all meet at the exit gate. But the ride is hardly enlivening or exciting neither is it anything we are well equiped to experience. It does not carry any depth of connection, growth or wisdom. It can offer no passing-along of love and life; it affords us not a bit of the sharing we've been designed to live in.
We need, nay are designed to go after, the ride! We are here to experience the ins and out, ups and downs, turns and straightaways that this ride provides. The heights are needed-craved after-even, in spite of the fact that, the climb feels crippling and the descent all pervading. Oh those heights are affirming and convicting! Yet, only because the descent is so wisdom-filled and self actualizing. We just can't have the one without the other. And this is why some choose to simply remain in the confidence of eternal and sit alongside the ride watching and waiting. But this is not enough. Not for anyone who has been called and is truly listening. When you choose to live in and accept this reality, the descents and the climbs are welcome-even anticipated and relished-albeit painfully and with resistance. Why? How you ask? Because the wisdom is so good. Oh so good. Better than the best of anything you have touched or felt or spoken or heard. Even in the depths of the descent, even in the weary, often tear-filled, straining of the climb, the wisdom shines bright and bold-righteously carrying us to that great height. Even in the knowing that there will be another dip; another descent; another climb, we welcome each and every bit of the experience because the height is so good that the depth becomes just as much a joy and treasure and peak we will not wish away or pray deliverance from. The one begins to shine bright on the other and all of this life, all of this living and doing mesh together and point back to the all and all that is the salvation we sought. Not just in eternity, but here. and now. life is now. life is forever. life is living. He made it so. We live it so. That good. Find it. in love. trish

Monday, September 6, 2010

old new

My old self has gone into desperate shock and my new self is reeling under the dead weight....

I'm sitting in the Lexington, Kentucky airport at 3:05pm est on Labor Day. I've spent the past three days touring horse country with John, the previous five intensely shooting the photos for the next book due out in the fall of 2011, and the three days before that in Chesterton, Indiana teaching a workshop and catching up with my guys come down from Michigan in the moments in between. Whew. This is me?! This is my life?! This is the living that belongs to the scattered, frenzy-brained girl of just three years ago who couldn't discern a clear future nor what passion or profession would get her there?! Wow. What a turn around.
That old, worn-out, worthless weight of self that is the worry, fear and desperation of unknown and ungrounded is hanging on like a child clinging to its mother's leg on the first day of preschool; my old self cries a mournful wail when the tides run high or the motion gets too rocky in this new-life living.
The new self continuously shakes off this clinging-scowling away the fear and desperation and determinately straining the next step forward, and the next, to move further and further away from that clinging old self.
And it's working. By the grace of God, and only by this, the new self is winning the battle with the old and persevering under the pull of worthless past fears, frustrations and desperations. The new me, with bold new understanding and confident, fresh assurance, smiles with ease to the old. Cling all you want; you can do me no harm. I move forward with determination only found in trust and faith.
And I'm off to Oregon twice in the next four weeks; then Colorado, BC and North Carolina....bring it on :) in love. trish

Monday, August 30, 2010

fruit on the bottom; hope on top!


www.encaustikits.com

Hope is not what you expect; it is what you would never dream.
It is a wild, improbable tale with a pinch-me-I'm-dreaming ending.

And it is always much bigger than anything we think of as possible in and of ourselves. Hope comes in a size too big so that we have to grow into it.

And the stretching of ourselves in this change brings pain and anguish and at many point along the way it feels as if you either misread the hope that you'd felt, or you just flat out question whether you were actually, properly, equipped to hope for what you did in the first place!

Growing into that hope-moving faithfully in it involves a trusting with a depth and selflessness of which you didn't realized you were capable. You live a day high on the beauty, clarity and thankfulness in the 'coming true'of it, only to wake the next morning questioning your sanity and the vision you'd thought was so clear and decidedly yours a mere day earlier.

I believe in hope. I believe it the gift of hope to lift our spirits, enliven our days and give us a sense of purpose. Hope is God's grace incarnate. Hope is the living out reality of heavenly inspiration. Hope is the blessed gift, unique to each and every one of us, that is proof of God's immeasurable love.

And it is hard. To hold onto this intangible. To substantiate this unknown. To realize this mystery in our 'see it then believe it' minds. But we must work through this hard. We must step forward into this pain. We must continue to walk and not turn back. We must realize that it is not to be seen before it is believed, but rather we must believe in order for it to be seen.

This is hope. This is faith. And this is grace. God asks this of us; to live in faith-to believe. And in this faith to take the next step, and the next, as he reveals them to us, the next: So that the hope may become manifest only through his guidance in our faithful following. There is no other way. For only in this, only in the faith is the belief rewarded and made real. in love. trish.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Book II

I'm off to Cincinnati again! I vaguely recall saying something, maybe not out loud-but only to myself, like I'd never do another book since the first was such a traumatic experience :)
Silly me! I'm off to Cincinnati for a second book step-out photo shoot and will write the manuscript through the cooling-off months of fall. So excited to put all these latest works out there for encaustic artists to explore and geek on! I've come alive in the sharing and inspiring that the first book has opened up for me and I realize that this second will offer the same! Now, just to get through the pain of production.....you know, all those birth pains and such.....oh my ;) in love. trish

Friday, August 13, 2010

New encaustic artists' work!





I'd like to think these are all a reflection on just how fantastic I am at teaching this art, but honesty dominates and I credit goes in full to each individual artist! Such enlightened, passionate work. Kudos to all who participated in ArtUnraveled 2010 in Phoenix with me last week; thank you for all your goodness! :) in love, trish