Alright then, how does one dissect the facts of four incomplete relationships and a 'career path' that is fleeting and abstract at best? I would be lying if I said I wasn't comfortable with these facts because truly I am. I feel like these are all parts of me, unsettled, dimorphic parts, but all parts of me nonetheless. They have been invaluable learning opportunities, blessed discoveries of self and society and wonderful encounters in each of their moments. But I still come away stunned with the falling away of each one. Unsettled by the disturbance their end has left and dumbfounded by the disbelief that I did not see the 'not quite right' that ended the affair from the start. And, once I am able to step back from the ending of it all, I stand quizzically with one question each time: If I am so comfortable and feel assured that I am living my authentic path in life, how can it be that I have not stumbled across 'the one'? How can it be that I entered into, whole heartily and completely, another 'not right'? Is it a timing issue? Is it an 'open your eyes' issue? Is it a 'you are SO naive silly girl' issue?! Or, is it that my authentic self is honestly not fully realized yet? I am still in progress. I am still becoming. Can I have someone to 'become' alongside me? Is there a person out there that would grow authentically along with me? Are we designed to walk hand in hand alongside someone else on this circuitous path and become authentic together?
I believe we grow into our SELFs until our last breath. Seeking, growing, learning, loving and being each and every moment until we take our last step. I will hold fast to the assurance that I am walking my talk, seeking what is there to seek and being the one I want to attract in the world, and before the end of my path looms in the distance, I will grasp the hand of a soul meant to tread the steps alongside my own. And, I will not get tripped up by the road blocks I am deterred by in the meantime. believing. trusting. in love. always. trish