pb&j brownie pockets....so good!

I haven't posted a recipe in a long, long time! What an oversight!

I have been keeping the oven toasty though; experimenting with bread recipes and cookie delights. This latest was a wonderful find in the Southwest Airlines Spirit Magazine.

I discovered it in flight to Michigan and collected the ingredients upon landing so as to bake them up for my boys! Twice I put these together, and twice they myst
eriously disappeared :)
Enjoy! in love, trish

pb&j brownie pockets
4, 2" square brownies (just make a batch of your favorite and save some for this recipe!)
8 sheets phyllo dough (available in the freezer section next to pie crusts and puff pastry)
4 TBLS peanut butter, divided
4 TBLS jam, divided (homemade is the best! :)
4 TBLS mini chocolate chips
4 TBLS melted butter
Preheat oven to 325 degrees~
Begin by unrolling one sheet of phyllo. Brush this with the melted butter and lay another sheet atop it. Brush with butter again.
Place one brownie in the center of the layered, buttered phyllo. Scoop one tablespoon peanut butter, then one tablespoon jam on top of the brownie.
Sprinkle one tablespoon chocolate chips atop this.
Fold edges and corners of phyllo around this stack to secure it. I like to make it into an envelope look; folding the edges in and closing it up like a package. Brush this with butter and place onto cookie sheet.
Repeat this process three times to create four pb&j brownie pockets.
Bake at 325 for 8-10 minutes or until the phyllo is golden brown.
Delicious with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream :)

i bake for people

Cookies for the boys. Dinner for my over worked girlfriend. Lunch for a long distance friend. Care packages for my miles away son. My favorite time is in the early morning (middle of the night for some!) when the birds are still slumbering, my boys are curled under covers and the kitchen holds nothing but potential.

I do it for those on the receiving end of course, but even more so for myself. I admit it; it's a completely selfish endeavor~

Satisfaction comes on two levels: I get to spend time in the kitchen-creating, experimenting, playing and thinking. Being here is as much fun as splashing in the hot wax in the studio! There is something so very yummy in putting ingredients together and coming away with a finished, tasty delight!

I also get the personal jazz of sharing with the people I care about in my life-letting them know, in this small, tasty way, that I am thinking of them. Great pleasure comes in hearing your child's first stirring include an 'mmmmm mom-what is that smell!'. In packaging up the latest batch of scones and dropping them inside a neighbors screen door. In receiving a text 'thank you!' from a friend eating your paella with a glass of red on her back porch.

I bake for people. in love. trish.

Milk Chocolate Florentine Cookies

1/2 c butter (I've even used 1/4 c olive oil and 1/4 c silken tofu-don't tell the guys!)

2 c oats

2/3 c sugar (I use honey or sucanat)

2/3 c flour

1/4 c corn syrup (dark is yummier)

1/4 c milk

1 tsp vanilla

2 c chocolate chips (melted)

Melt the butter in the microwave and cool slightly. Add oats, sugar, flour, corn syrup, milk and vanilla-mix well. Drop spoonfuls onto foil-lined baking sheet that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Flatten a bit with spoon or spatula.

Bake at 375 degrees for 8 minutes. Cool completely before removing from foil.

Spread a thin layer of chocolate onto the flat side of half of the cookies. Place another on top, creating a sandwich. Allow to cool or refrigerate to speed this along! Eat them people!!!!

chocolate espresso

I love to eat. I love food-when it's really good, and more so when I create it. I love the process of putting ingredients together; whether from a recipe or simply a place that 'just sounds good'. I love to meld ingredients to concoct a delicious dish; maybe I'll be the only one that thinks so, but that's okay-there are always corndogs in the freezer for finicky eaters. I love to experiment, research new ideas, try new recipes. The heart of this love rests more in baking than in cooking: There's just something satisfying in filling the house with the smell of sweet sugary delights.
My kitchen-love started in youth when a recipe for No Cook Dandy Candy became a household favorite. I was enlivened by the ability to put five simple ingredients together and create a delicious, gooey sweet treat. My mom must've sighed with a bit of relief to realize she could allow my forage into the kitchen with this one because it required no heated elements or oven gauges.
No Cook Dandy Candy soon fell victim to my own cookies, quick breads and cakes. I can remember in college, in the house I shared with 7 starving students, making cookies out of my sophomore year stand by-grapenuts. Yes, that strange, tooth breaking, nearly inedible cereal. One adverturous roomie tried one; starvation gets 'em every time. I remember finishing the batch myself-fueling me through final exams no doubt. I am a proponent of unusual flavors and textures.
I've recently pulled out an old recipe that still lives a powerful life back in Michigan. Knocking down the ingredients list from the 20 loaf batch it is written for, I recreated a loaf this week. In sharing this one, I received rave reviews of 'just the right balance of chocolate to espresso' and 'it's better than the BS version'. I'm smiling. It is a delectible. And, if you ever have a day to be alone, savoring moments of personal pleasures, take this one along for the ride. in love. trish.
Chocolate Espresso Bread
(yields one large loaf)
1/2 lb butter, softened
1 1 /2 c sugar
Cream these then add
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
cream again and add in
2 1/3 c flour
3 tsp baking powder
1 t salt
blend to smooth then mix in
1/4 c ground espresso beans
1 c semi sweet chocolate chips
Pour batter into a greased loaf pan and bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool completely on wire rack. I like it best cooled, but I'm betting it would be killer-good warm with vanilla ice cream melting into it for dessert...

4am

I really, really like to bake in the early morning. I come downstairs before the birds; before any hint of sunlight begins its creeping over the horizon; before the late night roaming wildlife have settled into their daytime hiding places. If I am not found in the studio at 3 30am then I am in the kitchen, flipping the oven temp to 350 and turning on the mixer. I like to imagine my neighbors awakening to a faint hint of sugary, fruitfully filled goodness engaging their senses. Who needs an alarm clock?!

Today I needed to use up some peaches. I get a weekly delivery from Full Circle Farms. It arrives via a wonderful program called a CSA (community supported agriculture). If you have any inclination to keep your food local and organic, I encourage you to check them out! I have two CSA's of which I am a huge fan: Full Circle Farms(fullcirclefarm.com), and Blue Bird Grain Farms(bluebirdgrainfarms.com). The premise is that these farms coordinate with buyers and communities to bring us the freshest, local organic products-think milkman-resulting in the farms gaining more exposure to the community and the community benefiting from the fresh product being delivered to their doorstep!
For me it's a bit like my birthday every Wednesday-I get to open my big waxed corrugated box and luxuriate in the chard, beets, snap peas and yes, peaches! This afternoon will find me pillaging the monthly delivery from Blue Bird Grain Farms where I do believe I am going to find a lovely package of rye flour...mmmmm. Rye sourdough bread tomorrow! Perhaps a turkey Reuben is in my near future....in love. trish.

Peach, even though it really calls for pear, Upside Down Cake
(my alterations in parenthesis)

1 c blanched almonds (1 c toasted whole skin-on almonds)
2/3 c all purp flour (2/3 c BBGF white whole wheat cake flour)
2 t baking powder
6 T butter, room temp (6 T olive oil)
1 c sugar (2/3 c sucanat-I also added 1/2 t almond extract)
2 eggs
1/2 c fresh orange juice
2 anjou pears, cored and sliced 1/4" (2 ripe peaches, pitted and sliced 1/4")
2 T butter, (1 T olive oil)
3 T brown sugar (2 T agave nectar)
If using pears, place 2 T butter and 3 T brown sugar in a skillet and allow to melt and caramelize( 2 min). Layer pears over this caramel and brown (4 min).
Both recipes begin here-While pears caramelize pulse almonds in a food processor until the consistency of bread crumbs. All flour and baking powder and pulse to blend. Set this mix aside in a small bowl. Again using the food processor, blend butter and sugar until smooth. Add eggs until light and fluffy. In halves, add flour mixture and orange juice until dough is formed. Spiral pears or peaches in a buttered 9" cake pan. If peaches, over them pour the oil/agave blend. Spread dough over fruit layer and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Turn out onto plate and allow to cool or serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

edges

As I awaken today, filled with anticipation of all that I want to do, all that needs me to do, and all that just feels good to do, I realize it's all about edges! Living on the edge is living close to the action; fully engaged and right there with goosebump creating wonder. So, these are my edges today as I return from my trip to Oregon to an empty house and ideas flowing!

edges of baking edges of reading edges of dusting edges of entries edges of laudry edges of natural
edges of projects

edges of sleep

in love. trish

my daniel

I have been learning a lot about myself over the past few years. Discovering where my heart's passion truly lies, unearthing my personal voice, redefining love and what it means for me in my life. It has been an amazing journey, and one I recognize I am on for the duration! These lessons learned open to new experiences that create new lessons and thus new learning to be done~

This is my Daniel. He is 17 1/2 and grabbed me-heart and soul at birth. He has a tender gentle countenance and the person he is, the soul he possesses, speaks to me poignantly. Each of my children holds an exalted, unique place in my heart and I can not do this living without each and every one of them: There's just something about Daniel.

He is the second baby. Where Conner reeled back, screaming at the stars for the first few months of his life, Daniel gently cuddled, latched on and peacefully connected. He was an 'oops' baby; growing the family wasn't the plan just yet. Daniel can be 'blamed' as the catalyst to my big family~he made me want more.

The day after his 16th birthday he moved to Michigan to live with his father. We'd lived there for five years until moving to Washington in 2004. My boys developed a connection to the midwest that I did not. Where they want to call Okemos, Michigan their home, I connect to it angst, struggle, heartache and falling away. I can get a sense of their emotional connection to the area, but I still have a bubble of disappointed quandary in the trying to understand it. Their experiences there are so very different than mine; we simple can not emotionally identify on the same level. It pains me that I could not give them my love of the west coast, but I have to let that go and know that they are finding their own way.

I struggle with Daniel's absence from my daily rounds. It is so very odd to have a child not living under your roof. Even if, as living under this roof, we simply said good morning, have a great day, and ate dinner together before rushing off to our own activities, he was still here in my sites. I see him three times a year now. I play a game with myself when the pain of this is too strong. I imagine him a brilliant savant who was whisked off to Yale at an early age. Silly mom.

Deep down I recognize the rightness of his choice and the good it is for his life. I just struggle with the changing form of this love, the loss of connection, and the building of a new relationship description. How do parents let go and let live? Or, how do you get to where the letting go is not married to pain and angst? I have never been a gripping, controlling mother, I believe I've created very independent, self sufficient children for the world, but I still cry as he gets on the plane alone. I still baulk at photos taken of myself with three boys, not four. Perhaps there just is no letting go. The belly button is a testament to this: The cord has been cut physically, but emotionally it is wrought in steel to never be cleaved. in love. trish

I make these and think of Daniel every time Krispie Treats
6 cups rice krispies
1 c corn syrup
1c sugar
1 c creamy peanut butter
1 c chocolate chips
1c butterscotch chips
In a small saucepan heat the corn syrup and sugar until bubbling. Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter. Pour this mixture over the krispies in a large bowl. Stir to combine. Press into a greased 9x13 casserole dish. Melt both chips together in the microwave; 30 second bursts with stirring in between. Spread over krispies. Cool and cut! super sweet yumminess.

cardamom apple baked french toast and conner

Conner will be 19 on July 17th but we celebrated early. A small celebration, mind you, done with controlled anxiousness and heightened anticipation.

Conner is my oldest. My most vivid memory from his first days on earth are of clutching his tiny frame tightly to my chest as he threw his head back howling at the sky... all. night. long.....One could ponder my choice to continue to give birth after the months of sleeplessness and deep angst that comprised his first year.

Conner has managed to hold onto the status of my most difficult child throughout his entire tenure here on earth. Don't get me wrong, each child has given me their own version of heartache, difficulty and challenged patients. But Conner's version has come with a depth and breadth unlike anything I was familiar with and unlike any I could've prepared for. Somewhere in the mix that became the who that he is, he picked up a lust for making choices that put him on the edge of 'normal' life. Perhaps being branded 'first born' placed him in a position to test the edges of living so his brothers could take a more controlled and learned path in his wake. And, as first born Conner has been first to test my patience, first to push the limits, first to create undue angst and first to earn my undying love.

Yet, each day of his young adult life Conner claims another bit of my trust and admiration; reinforcing my already steadfast faith in his ability to find a path true to his heart. This faith has always been present and well seated in my soul, but I have not always been resolved to believe it would take him into a future beyond the day in which he was currently walking! Conner has lived days and made choices so far outside of my comfort zone that I sometimes wonder from who's womb he sprung! Yet, he is here. Nearly 19, talking on the phone with the dispatch coordinator, preparing for lift off to Alaska. He passed his drug tests, prep work and is getting on an airplane to King Cove, Alaska to work in a cannery for the summer season.

Wow. Another step down a path my catholic, middle class sensibility can't quite wrap itself around. And yet, I am so proud of his fortitude and resolve to make this happen for himself. This is his path. Right now he alone is taking these steps and heading down this road to a place that will be his story. Bravo my baby. Bravo my blessed, tender loving 7 lb 11 oz redheaded bundle. Take off. in love. mom.

Conner's 19th birthday breakfast

Cardamom Apple Baked French Toast with Cider Syrup

(adapted from Chefs on the Farm, shannon borg/lora lea misterly)

4 apples, cored and cut to 1/4" slices

4T sugar or sucanat

2 t fresh ground cardamom (buy the green pods, crack open, crush seeds with a mortar/pestle-you'll thank me!)

2 T butter

4 eggs

1/2 c half and half or milk

1 t vanilla

pinch of salt

unsliced bread-I used homemade sourdough, but any quality, dense bread will work beautifully

Heat the butter in a skillet while you are mixing the apples, sugar and cardamom in a bowl. Once the butter is hot, add the apple mixture. Stir frequently to keep from sticking, and cook until softened and a bit caramelized (10-15 minutes)

Butter an 8x8 Pyrex dish. Cut the bread loaf lengthwise to create 4, 1/2" thick slices of bread. Lay two of these into the bottom of the dish (you want them to ultimately cover the bottom of the Pyrex). Spread the apples over this bread layer and place the remaining two slices on top. In the bowl used to mix the apples, crack eggs and whisk. All half and half, vanilla and salt. Pour this mixture over the bread/apples. Cover with saran wrap, weight with a plate and jug of milk and place in refrigerator over night.

Remove weight and saran then bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until golden and bubbly.

Prepare syrup while baking:

1 c apple cider

1c sugar or sucanat

Bring these to a boil in a small saucepan. Reduce heat to a simmer and stirring frequently, reduce to 1 cup.

Once the bread is baked, remove from oven, invert on a serving platter and pour the syrup over all. Oh it's so good! The more cardamom the better-just grind it by hand!!!!

poppyseed cake and a great time

I had a party on friday night :)...

In honor of a dear friend visiting and in order to get to know my neighbors better!

fun women, great desserts, free flowing wine. Here's to a good time!

in love. trish

This cake harkens back to my high school days of babysitting. A family I used to sit for had this on the counter one night as I watched TV and listened to sleeping-baby-gurgles on the monitor. I indulged in a hefty piece and was hooked-I asked for the recipe. The original version was made with a yellow cake mix. I've modified it since!

poppyseed cake

1 3/4c cake flour

1/4 t baking soda

1 3/4 t baking powder

1/4 t salt

1 small pkg vanilla instant pudding

1/3 c butter

1 c sugar

2 eggs

1/2 c sour cream

1 t vanilla

1/3 c poppyseeds

1/3 c cooking sherry

sift flour, soda, baking powder, pudding and salt into a medium bowl. In another bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add vanilla, sherry, sr cream and eggs to butter mixure and blend well. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour wet mixture into it. Blend these well then add poppyseeds. Pour batter into a buttered bunte cake pan. Bake 35 minutes at 350 degrees or until golden brown and a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Allow to cool 30 minutes before removing from pan. Cool completely then glaze with 1/4 c powdered sugar, 1T milk mixed glaze. Indulge!

if I can dream it

If something lives in my heart, in my head, can it live in the world? Can it be made real and take wings? -

A small cozy cottage with a simple three bedroom/three bath, wrap around porch, overstuffed, slipcovered furniture in the sitting room; the heart of this home is the kitchen. Equiped with its six burner gas range, double oven, pot rack hanging with caseron pots and sprigs of drying herbs, the sense in this kitchen is of more than a house, it is home. The island chopping block with a deep well sink for pasta pots and washing vegetables is brimming with just picked early summer flavors; sweet lettuce, crisp asparagus and pungent onions. With the window overlooking the spring blooming flower beds and in the distance a peek at the blossoming fruit trees in the orchard, the sun can not resist turning its warmth inward to spread a morning ray over the counter tops. This is where you find me, taking the piping hot blueberry scones from the oven and adding them to a tray brimming with fresh coffee, fruit bowls and yogurt made from the goats milk on the farm. I take a moment to bask in the heat of this warming sun ray before picking up the tray of delectibles and pushing the side door open with my hip.

Just off the porch I step onto the path that meanders back to the converted barn. Built into the large barn doors is a smaller man-size door that allows my entry with the tasty breakfast fare into the expansive lower level studio. Several workshop attendees are already gently awake and beginning to work on their creations for the day. Catching a wisp of the fresh from the oven breakfast, the rest of the group begins to make their way down the spiral staircase from the loft overhead. Sleeping quarters built into the old hayloft serve as luxuriously simplistic nooks for eight sleepy overnighters; whether they be workshop participants or bed and breakfast registrants, the space serves as a delightful retreat that has been commended by all those lucky enough to happen upon its existence as a slice of heaven in the northwest. With the lower level converted to workshop space, the expansive building is put to great use hosting art retreats in all mediums and disciplines by passionate instructors coming from far and near.

Just off the backside of the studio barn sits a small pond redolent with duck, fish and frog. Alongside the pond is a small goat barn where two buck and six doe reside; three of which are due to kid any day. The chicken coop supplies daily eggs with which the succulent scones and hour-fresh-egg omelets are made.

Traveling back to the cottage I wander around the backside and stop at the brick wood fired oven to ensure that the temperature is right for the loaves of bread that are ready to go in. Lunch for the guests will include fresh bread just pulled from the hot stones, with goat cheese and asparagus quiche. Most of the baking happens out of this over with the pizzas being a hands down favorite. Guests thrill at creating their own masterpieces with dough and have even come up with a few of the current house favorites.

Taking a final sweep through the house to ensure things are at the ready for the next wave of hungry stomachs, and a check to the garden-peeking to make sure the Peter Rabbit visitor hasn't stollen any more dinner salad, I return to the studio to check on the guest instructor and students then head to the computer to continue writing my book. in love. trish

Blueberry Coffeecake Scones

1 c all purpose flour

1 c white whole wheat flour

2 t baking powder

1/2 t salt

1/2 c sugar or organic sucanat

1/2 c butter, chilled

2 eggs

1/4 c milk

1 t vanilla

1/2 t lemon zest

1 1/2 c fresh or frozen blueberries

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Sift dry ingredients into a mixing bowl. Cut butter into dry ingredients until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a small bowl blend remaining ingredients and pour into the dry ingredient crumbles. The dough will be sticky. Gently incorporate the blueberries; if using frozen, do not thaw-simply blend in while still frozen. Place dough onto a greased baking sheet and pat into a 9" circle.

In another small bowl blend:

3/4 c flour

1/4 c brown sugar

1/4 t cinnamon

1/4 c butter, chilled

Pat this topping onto the blueberry scone dough. With a bread knife, score the circle into eight pie shaped wedges.Bake 30 minutes or until lightly brown and the center comes out clean when tested. Irresistable warm with fresh yogurt and a latte!

ginger

Besides my fetish for ginger redheaded boys, my sons!, a ginger fetish rests heavily on the pungent rhizome as well. When I am not cooking or baking for the aforementioned boys, I love to pull one of the many incantations of this spicy reed to the counter and mix its hot-sweet spiciness into the dishes I am preparing. My current addiction is in the breakfast bowl. Spicy ginger granola has gone through many transformations since I discovered the original base recipe in an Eating Well magazine several years ago. The best way to eat it is with fresh yogurt-I tend to go with Nancy's Nonfat
Organic if I haven't created a batch myself (insert eye rolls here, I know....truly it is easy and so much better than the store version!) Milk is a tasty alternative as well-cold or warmed in the microwave! Experiment and find your personal favorite; and share them here so I can expand my repertoire!
Spicy Ginger Granola
5 c rolled oats- Bob's RedMill has a nice version
1/2c coconut-again, Bob's RedMill has a tasty unsweetened
1/2 c honey
1/2 c maple syrup
1 c dried fruit-I love Trader Joe's berry blend
1/2 c crystallized or dehydrated ginger, chopped to your liking
1 c almonds, chopped to your liking
In a saucepan over medium heat blend the honey and syrup until bubbling. Turn the heat to low and simmer, stirring frequently, for five minutes. Meanwhile in a mixing bowl blend oats and coconut. Once the honey blend is finished, pour over the blended oats and coconut. Pour this mixture onto a lightly greased baking sheet and bake for 12 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove from the oven, add the dried fruit, ginger and almonds and stir to blend. Return to oven and bake for another 12 minutes or until golden. Remove from oven, allow to cool on sheet then put into air tight container and eat it up within two weeks! Many variations of the granola can be concocted. Enjoy experimenting and finding your favorite.
More ginger to follow. It's all so good! in love. trish.

where I am at

This week is filled with many commitments, deadlines, 'To Do's' and 'must take care ofs'. I am tackling them all, one by one, a little bit here, a little bit there. I have pleasingly found my way around multitasking; even when my list for the week takes up two pages, I can walk into it calmly and with assurance that the final bullet point will receive a definitive line through it by the end of day on Friday. I think this calm comes with age-read 'maturity', and a gentler sense of what is necessary and pressing in a day. It comes with age, and perhaps being a woman-or more precisely, a mother! Hang ups over undone laundry, dusty coffee tables and muddy footprints on the entry rug just don't matter the way they did when I was a new cohabitant in a household sharing relationship. So what have I been up to? Where am I at in this week of doing and taking care of? Yes, baking cookies sits squarely on the 'to do' list. Maybe not a priority in your household, Keebler does a fine fudge stick after all, but here, with the teenage boys who can eat a package of Girl Scout cookies single handedly before their brothers come home to find evidence of their existence, I bake cookies. Cost effective, makes the house smell outrageous, and dang, they taste so good! Nothing like a homemade chocolate chip cookie. And a bonus; if you haven't gathered this fact yet, more than half the 'yum' for me happens in the making of what is needed or desired-Gotta bake! Gotta paint! Gotta garden! And even, gotta clean those windows! Sick, I know. Back to those cookies....

The cookie jar sat gaping open, it's interior filled with the hollow space of emptiness as I came through the door from a weekend away in Portland. It sat as simple proof that should I turn to open the frig, I would see a full pan of lasagna left sadly untouched on the center shelf. Cookies are so much more convenient, tasty, and do not require a plate or reheating in the microwave. Unless of coarse you desire that gooey, melty chocolate chip bite of cookie goodness....I digress. I knew cookie baking was on the top of my list for the first of the week. Pulling out the favorite recipe first thing Monday morning, I created the delectable morsels featured above. If your taste buds scream for a thin, chewy, gooey chocolate chip cookie, read on and set your oven to 300 degrees. These, quite simply, rock.

Gooey Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 c margarine

1/2 c brown sugar

1/3 c granulated sugar

1 t vanilla

1 c flour

3/4 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

1 c chocolate chip cookies

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. If you have them, I recommend using silicone baking sheets; everything just bakes better on them! Otherwise, lightly spray two baking sheets in preparation for the dough. Melt the margarine and allow it to cool slightly. Add the sugars and vanilla and blend well. Add the flour, soda and salt, blend again. Dump the chips into the batter, incorporate and grab two cereal spoons. Place level spoonfuls onto baking sheets-I make a dozen/sheet. This recipe makes a mere 18-24 cookies depending on how large your spoonfuls are, so you may want to double the recipe! They are so easy to make that I stick with a single batch so they are just so yummy fresh with great regularity! Bake at 300 degrees for 14 minutes (yes, 14. really) and remove to a cooling rack. If you are using silicone sheets, slip the sheet onto the rack and allow to cool off the the cookie sheet to ensure no more baking happens. Enjoy! (note: the recipe does not have eggs. What does this mean you ask?! The batter can be eaten before baking without fear of any strange illnesses taking over your digestive system....mmmmm)

This is the way the recipe is made when the boys are consuming. I have made them for a dinner party-cookies never go out of style, and used 1/2 white whole wheat flour and 1/2 AP flour, a hunk of Valharone dark chocolate chopped into tasty hunks instead of the chips, and threw in a handful of dried cherries. OMG, try it....

Cookie baking ceremoniously crossed off the list....

Next, while not on the weekly list, always on the life list; painting.

I have been jazzed in the studio. No other way of putting it. Geeked. Jazzed. Thrilled. Impassioned. Maybe crazy even! Define it how you will, I can't get enough right now, thank the gods. Beginning in frustration, trying to move from my proverbial bright, multicolored blending of wax, my Karon suggested I hold myself to two colors. Gasp! Just two?! So it was with trepidation that I removed all colors from my palette, picked through my blocks of encaustic, set up four sets of 'only two!' and began. The first week, diazinone purple and celadon green. The second week, kings blue and raw umber. This week, I've allowed leeway; okay, I'm cheating! artistic license-I'm working in colored papers and burnt umber. And, I am stuck there. Well, not stuck, but loving what is happening! Freaking over the results that just two colors can produce. Next in the lineup? sap green and quinacridone magenta then dianthus pink and neutral while-it wont happen this week-I have more to do with the raw and king!-but it will come, and I'll show you their results as well!

Okay,cookies and art-moving through the list quite swiftly! Need it be added that the laundry, dusting and cleaning of the fingerprinted appliances has happened in the in between of all the rest?! Three more lines crossed out....

I moved into this house one year ago today. I sold my big house on the hill, tossed stuff, packed, found this house, went through the paperwork hoops and moved in in three weeks. A crazy, frantic, tear spilling three weeks. One year ago now. I am amazed at the time that has passed and the place I've come to. So good, so rich and so grounding. The universe works in mysterious ways...

But where is this little ditty on my 'to do' list you ask?! Part of the list is left in my head. The part that reads-'count your blessings', 'thank you lucky stars' and 'don't forget what your knees are for chicka'! This little musing is on that list. Settling in was a very important issue for me one year ago. I wanted a foundation of calm for myself as much as for the boys. With boxes shoulder high through the entire house, we were cutting sideways glides down the hallways to reach bathroom, bedroom and frig. Blessed with a few days of time to focus on the task at hand without distractions of job, other 'to dos' or even the boys underfoot (they returned to the final month of school after the frantic day and a half moving process), I began unpacking the packed. Not until I reached the box containing my cars did I smile and breath a calming sigh. It wasn't the cars in and of themselves, as much as the sense of place they allowed. For some reason the pulling of them from the box and establishing their spot in the new kitchen (they'd sat on the island just above the stove top in the other home) settled the frantic and solidified the sense of place that has stayed with me since that day. A tiny, $.99 collection of blessings. There for me daily as a reminder of the simple, good, peaceful tidbits in life.

And while all this doing is happening? Never forgetting the eating. Eating, sleeping, painting, writing...life! My lunch yesterday; everything come from my CSA(community supported agriculture) box! Can't beat that! Have you ever tried avocado with mango? Or, mango with tomato? Wow. Again, a simple delight. The sun helped; I ate on the deck...

A messy, huge salad, but oh so satisfying-no, I didn't share with the rooster! He's awfully cute though isn't he?!

Today? More painting. I have some rare ironing to tackle, and I promised Patrick I'd finish our game of Risk. He's wiping me off the map....in love. trish.

don't throw it away

I could be referring to garbage, recycles, old clothes, piles in the attic, unused gadgets....but I admit it...I'm doing the 'mushy' and referring to love. Don't groan! You can survive this diatribe-love makes us fools, but love is beyond enriching as well. I'll get back to art and baking tomorrow-promise! I have three quiche, bruschetta, hummus and truffles to create as well as a bunch of boards ready to be plastered and burned! (make you curious?! hungry?!)

Love. Why is it so confusing? I've been debilitated by the sudden sucking absence of it in my days. There, then gone. It filled my every moment, then became a vacant hollow, absent of everything but ache. Surprised the heck out of me. Knocked the Brooks All Terrains right out from under me-The wax encrusted paint brush from my hand-The dough splattered wisk from my grasp.

I was fine before love became the waking force in each of my days. I was walking, talking and breathing independently and fully until it rapped on the latched door to my heart. 'I don't need this and will not let it in!' I professed. Oh fool that I be....I think if you were standing next to me at the time you could've heard the fateful 'woosh' of the latched door being torn from its' hinges.

Maybe I wouldn't be this way if I'd never spied what was knocking on the other side of that cracked door. But then I wouldn't have the knowledge of it's existence. I'd be plodding along in the oblivion of assumed existence. Assumed love is there somewhere. Assumed partners exist for everyone; somehow. Assumed God has a plan for my heart that will one day, some day, manifest.

But, that's not an option anymore. No more assumptions. I've touched it, I've felt it, I've tasted it. It exists in real time and I don't want it taken out with yesterday's table scraps. My heart is starved for the rich filling up that deep connection creates in my moments. I crave the sweet fulfillment the right person brings to everything I do, say, feel and create. Everything-that much more complete in the sharing. A vulnerability I've run from for 40+ years. Foolish girl. I run to it now. Open hearted seeking more. Don't throw it away. Love. Trish

because Karon said so

Do you have a friend, you know the one, whom you can turn to no matter what? Say what you want, act like you want, feel all that you want, let it rip and hold nothing back knowing that under no circumstance will they judge you, hold you in contempt or send you packing!? Karon is that friend for me. After nearly two years of lazy dabbling at best, in my passion-encaustic-(reasons were valid for the hiatus but come on~ no creative outlet?!) Karon kicked me in the butt, ever so gently. And, along with prodding from other forces in my life, I am back at the hot wax with a vengeance. Mind you, the work all sucks so far. I feel like Tom Hanks in Big-but in reverse. My brain is all grown up and trying to function as an adult, but my body, hands to be exact, are functioning more like children-in finger paint and kindergarten paste tubs. Perhaps if I keep turning the wax on at 3am and working in it relentlessly-okay, I stop to eat and bake some goodies for the redheads-I can't help myself there; so, near relentlessly, until afternoon or evening commitments are howling at the door to the studio, maybe my body will grow up and join my brain in this adult world. Or who knows, maybe my brain will regress and join in the body's return to carefree, obliviously creative youth. I like the later....Trish

'We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to make room for the life that's waiting for us.'

Pause; Live life in between the doing

pastry class extraordinaire
Last night was the final class in my pastry arts series. Each class has been punctuated by at least one invaluable lesson and last night was no exception. I thought I would be hard pressed to enjoy myself and most assuredly find the subject matter boring-based on plenty of hands on experience in my own kitchen in this subject matter. But lo and behold, I was enlightened! Who knew genoise could be so enriching?! And butter cream...don't get me started!

My cake is on the top right shelf. Now it is in pieces, crumbs actually, in my own frig. Maybe there will be enough to share with the guys....if they're nice.

I will miss the time learning, but will certainly undertake another course to enhance my skills now that I've begun investing in this creative pursuit! Maybe I'll check into candy and chocolate making...yum.
Who knew twelve women could pack away so much sweet?! It was to die for...you had to be there.
Look for a store front some day-Trish's Tarts and Arts. Has a ring to it, don't you think!? And, in the meantime, if you are in the Seattle area, let me know. I'm on a roll. Too much pastry! Trish