'God asks; Do you trust me? We answer yes, again and again. only to realize the question is much bigger than we ever imagined. Anxiety has its use; stimulating us to seek with keener longing for that peace which is complete and unassailable.'
Of course we trust God, right?! I mean, he has to follow the rules, play by the game plan, stick to the script. So of course we trust.
But then he asks for more; to trust deeper, move further and believe greater-even in the face of the unknown. To step just outside of our comfort zone. To attempt something that goes beyond what we conceive as possible or even imagine being within our grasp. But he is asking; and we trust-so we go and do. We become a full-on player in the part he is asking us to play-the part we must play in order to truly be called alive.
Oh it hurts; digs deeper than anything we have yet done. Hurts more than the pain of mismanaged choices we made for ourselves over the years-before coming to him for the answers.
Yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we see that this pain is different. It is redolent with anticipation and granted, fear-filled, excitement. It is thick with expectation and possibility; even wonder and thanksgiving. Yes, even thanks. The stretching and pulling; the cracks and fissures that will require healing-they are withstood with thanksgiving and praise. No other will take us to where we must go, where we can find peace and glory and majesty beyond the humanness of life. No other will get us the deep satisfaction and pleasure-the pure, authentic joy of bold success. There is no other way.
And, once we come to realize that the pain of this kind of walking, of this depth of trust and honesty and love, comes with the gift of blessed glory and exaltation, there is no other way.
We learn this little by little; he does not ask us to take the whole pill in one swallow, but to start small, savor the growth that each provides, digest it and make it part of ourselves, then take the next he is offering. And to be able to continue to consume each tablet he is holding out to us fortifies our resolve to continue til the end. To even come to enjoy the medicine. As the divinely prescribed bottle begins to empty we find ourselves more rapidly finding recovery. And, growing in faith, we become eager for the next, even knowing that it will be difficult to swallow just as the others have been. Praising in the pain of it because we know, we have learned through experience, that the joy on the other side of digesting will far outweigh the pain of swallowing. in love. mom