new wrinkle morning

'Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. It is up to you to earn the face you have at forty.'
coco chanel

this morning I awoke to a new wrinkle. Have you ever done that? Overnight, become something you didn't for see?! No warning that it's arrival was imminent? No slow sneaking up on me; first a little crease that comes and goes when I smile, then a thread of evidence-present daily; to a sure enough line that never leaves...
This one just showed up and refused to go away. Sat there at the left edge of my lip, taunting and teasing me with the evidence of it so close to my birthday. Age. I remember wanting to grow up. I remember wanting to be a full fledged adult with all the perks and advantages written into that contract.
I don't remember penciling in wrinkles on my over 30 contract. I tend to not read fine print, but I distinctly feel there was a lacking of wrinkle verbage on my grow old registration.
And while I can see them on others and think them distinguishing, enlivening and even very much attractive, I can not forgive their appearance on my own face~it's just wrong after all! Wrinkles and grey hair; what do they prove?!
It's not that I don't appreciate my age; I really like being just where I am in my years. And I don't deny the reality that 43 years of living very much brings about signs of wear and tear. It's just that I don't' want them on me! :)
Perhaps, as I contemplate this statement, I will have to take that back though. Because if I can't show wear and tear on the outside, must one argue that it has to show up somewhere else? And if not on the outside, does that only leave the inside?! Imagine that; the wrinkles showing up on the inside. The wear and tear of 43 years doing its number through wrinkles on my intestines, grey creeping into my brian, dark spots on my heart. No siree! thank you but no.
I've just begun the cleaning of my insides; the refreshing bath of acceptance that arrives with age; the blessing of wisdom and insight which is allowing me to become one of those beautiful, aging-gracefully beings. I'm okay with keeping the wear and tear on the outside. The inside is quite appreciative of this growing older phase;) I'll keep the wrinkles on the outside: Live them with a smile and hope they reflect the shiny bright gracefully growing inside:) in love. trish.