Thursday, August 13, 2009
my daniel time-summer 2009
Daniel comes to visit three times a year; Christmas, spring break and summer. He returned two weeks ago for his summer with me. When he left to begin a life in Michigan I knew the relationship would change. I would no longer be a daily force of care, nurture, contact and complaint in his life. But to guess at what that relationship would evolve to was beyond me. I was too busy holding onto my sense of self-a mom of four glorious boys. To grab hold of this new concept-being mom minus one son-was bigger than I could face in one pass. It's been an odd and tumultuous transition and one I do not believe I've fully evolved to or ever completely will. So much of who I am is grounded in the life of having, raising, nurturing and building these four unique beings. To turn to this new sense of self is a slow and learned process wrought with pain, anguish, bittersweet joy and a dash of pride thrown in at the end. To think, my child-and now two children-have made this life changing decision for themselves! Reviewed the losses and gains, weighed the good and bad, assessed the pain for self and others and made the decision based on these findings-and their own sense of what they need on their path. Proud?! Yes, I am. I build those lives. My hand touched each moment in their days. My love fortified their personal strengths that bring them to this place of change. Bravo for me. Bravo for my glorious boys. To your life lived; as you feel it be. The joy outweighs the pain hands down...in love. trish.