Can you rely, trust, have ears only for, your own voice?
I've had years in my life that I was like a boat swaying on the waves of a passing jet ski. Rocking back and forth I'd trust in the words of a new friend, the judgement of a temporary heart resident, reinforce my weakened bows with words from a scattered, unfaithful partner. It was what I knew; it was what I had to go on. There was a sense of off kilter; that I'd taken a right turn when I should've gone left, but I was hard pressed to begin again. It was so much easier to love the world than to love myself.
To turn and begin to walk back, to make my way to that cross in the road and begin in the direction that was destined for me, is to revel in the every step. Joyously tread into each lesson as it comes my way and peacefully negotiate the map to return to my true purpose. It's been an arduous task: turning back to oneself when the loss of her was not always evident. But in steadfast, diligent commitment is also blissful, authentic joy.
I am where I should be. Perhaps, have always been. That even my off kilter state was mine to experience: I come to 43 with clearer vision, sharper hearing and honest trust. Experiencing life to have life experience. All the trials, blessings, troubles and gifts are mine. Finding joy in my every circumstance. And looking forward to each and every minute. Who needs sleep? :)
in love. trish