ARTFEST 2010!

Come join me! http://www.teeshaslandofodd.com/artfest/classes.html
in love. trish

zen quiet

I am painting now a days. Lots and lots of painting. With wax, with tar, with plaster, with oil, with glue, with fire. Painting. All this painting is being punctuated by regular dusting, organizing, scrubbing, pulling baby beets from my 4'x10' garden plot and mowing my lawn of similar dimensions. Yet mostly painting and painting and painting. Just as I desired my days to enfold this summer: To fall gently into the peace of not being beckoned to fill a belly or find clean socks. After the first day of stabbing anxiety at the emptiness in this change to alone, I have found the zen that has been suggested exists in the acceptance of quiet.

Waking at 4am to plug in the palette, organize the papers, listen to the bird chirp and sip the coffee. Eating lunch over an arrangement of carving tools and watching the sun set while hitting firing up the propane torch. Doing, seeing, acting, feeling, being-just as I want. Just as I need. Just as I feel. Selfish. Entirely, self indulgently selfish. Yet, accepting this and simply moving with it is giving me so much learning, so much feeling, so much accepting and so much love. Recognizing the value in alone; and the deep necessary value of every rich, difficult, blessed, challenging bit of life. in love. trish

voluntary solitary confinment

or maybe I should call it house arrest. Hmmm. Both sound so final; so definitive and closed. But that's not what it is at all. I am closing doors in order to open new ones. Seeking voices and words to carry me to the next place-by standing alone: walking in a solitary state and listening.

I have found that I enjoy being in a relationship. I thrive in it on one level, but also lose a bit of myself. That's where in lies the work-in finding a way to not lose oneself in the passion and enthusiasm of sharing bits of life with a partner.

I can even say I crave it sometimes. The surety of a kiss coming your way. A guarantee of companionship through the next DVD rental. Company for a walk along the sunset strewn beach. But I thrive on my independence as well. Drinking my first cup of coffee in bed without concern of disturbing some one's slumber. Eating dinner when my stomach growls rather than awaiting a table-with-a-view reservation. Not putting makeup on until noon. Boxers and tank top at the dinner table. One towel drying on the towel rack.

I'm on hiatus. I'm pulling back from all the extra that surrounds my days and simply engaging in listening. Doing and acting from my instincts and intuition and following where it leads. Now is the time. My guys are away: My house is purged of testosterone. Let's see where it takes me.

And, let me simply live and wait for the somebody who will come along and love me without requiring instructions. in love. trish. girly girl