June 16, 2012

I had grandiose ideals here; to write a loquacious post on the beauty and magnificence of my husband of two years. But instead I have just one definition-

Trish and dabomb John :)

John: Yahweh is gracious! (to me)
in love. trish

laundry

I am looking forward to a doing a big heaping load of wash. 
How warped is this?!

I have been traveling for three weeks now and have not done a single load of laundry.
Ew.
I am a bit disgusted myself as I write that~
I've done the traveling thing; washing in the shower a few necessities and hanging to dry over the hotel shower curtain rod...

But not doing laundry isn't my point exactly;
it's the looking forward to doing laundry.

Now that is not something you hear very often....

Especially from a mom of four boys!

To be honest I am craving after a lot of mundane tasks and common place stuff right now:

Eating with a metal utensil...

from a non-disposable container...

Using a curling iron...

Wearing my slippers...

Curling up on a couch...

Cooking-even if just to scramble eggs for Patrick!

 

All things I take for granted regularly when home.

 

All things missed deeply when traveling.

I can't help but draw a parallel in this craving and looking forward to~

I imagine God feeling that way about me. About every human.

Introduced to Him at birth through Catholic baptism, Sunday school and regular church attendance-

I was among those aware of Him;

taking for granted He was part of this world,

part of my life. 

 

I traveled through my growing up simply aware that He was a something, a someone, who was always there. 

Like my silverware, dishes, slippers and cozy couch~

He was just there. 

I never thought what it could possibly be like to not have Him just there....

like the washing machine...or silverware drawer. 

Always there.

 

yet life always had a craving; a longing; a 'something missing'...

 

a 'looking forward to' in which I had no idea what I was forward looking to~

 

Then I went through a period of life-travel; 

traveling onto 

a new way of doing normal,

a new way of doing me. 

And in it I recognized and began to appreciate once again the 'everyday' and 'common place' that I'd been taking for granted.

And I began to look forward to getting home and finding it

embracing it

appreciating it. 

Doing a load of holy laundry!

 

Drawing me so far in that now, 

in this new way, this new 'common place'

I never take for granted,

I'll never be able to take for granted~

I'll never be allowed to take for granted~

But only savor and relish the feel

~metal fork instead of plastic

~china bowl instead of cardboard

~cozy couch instead of pilled-up pillows on desk chair...

 

God relationship rather than God awareness.

 

He's keeping me close by keeping me craving. 

He's not risking my becoming complacent to His presence now that I've fully flung open and shouted through the walls of my heart,

'I'm home!' 

 

The delicious smell of Tide with bleach will not go unappreciated.

The tactile beauty of my Calphalon soup pot will be embraced anew.

My tender traveling toes will slide into cushioned slippers with delicious bliss. 

 

As the love and companionship of my God is each day is delighted in

and looked forward to~

 

My God is in each and every every day

~Reminding me of His pervading and ever-present position.

 

Never letting me fall into routine or take His presence for granted~

delighting in the work-dare I call it such-

He keeps me always craving after,

looking forward to

the little, under appreciated, often overlooked creature comforts of modern life.

 

And in the by and by of this not only better understanding His love and care for me, 

but also His determination

-with a small smirk of delight on His face I believe!-

to never let me get comfortable without appreciating the Comforter~

I might even do two loads. 

And fold it all....ahhhh....

I love my God.

in love. trish

Orlando magic :)

I wrote this letter in an email to just one; then realized God deserved a bigger expression of the grace he washed over me in these turn of events.

So, I copy and paste here for whomever finds their way to it: Putting my light in the window so to speak! :) God is this good.

in love. trish.

I'm learning just how beautifully, and blessedly, God is in the little things.

I have believed that God only shows up in the big things; cancer cured, pregnancies realized, funds funded, sins forgiven.
I had this notion that in the little, day to day events, I was on my own. That I had to figure out which venue to seek out, how to package and promote the kits, who to ask to teach at my retreat, how to go about encouraging my boys to faith in Christ.
Yet I am coming to see He doesn't expect this solitary, independent striving of me any more than He expects to me take up a scalpel and perform heart surgery (this is, need I say, not in my bag of talents :)

In the past few months I've heard sermons and read devotionals and begun to pray to God for my every need, my every presence, my every moment. I am learning that to believe this way is not to burden God, but rather to bless him. It is in needing him that faith is expressed; and this is what God asks of me-to be utterly and relentlessly faithful, nothing more.
The bottom line reality of this is, God himself is establishing me in him; not the reverse~What a relief and an incredibly profound blessing...

So I have to tell you my story: there's more to it-the 'before I even left' decisions that play into this whole picture as well-but for the sake of wearying your eyes reading :), I'll start with the actual trip that began last Thursday-

I left Seattle in the midst of the snow storm-ending up being just one of two flights to get out after my initial flight was cancelled. I flew through Chicago instead of Denver and the connecting flight waited for me (and four others) for almost a 1/2 hour so we could get on. Then, arriving in Orlando 6 hours later than originally planned, I was told the Enterprise counter would be closed, but to go to Alamo to get my rental. As my weary legs carried me through the rental car que, sans my supply cases that managed to stay behind in Seattle (yes, this too was a grace of God because he knew I would be too weary to drag them through the airport, so why not have SW airlines deliver them to my hotel room the next day- just in time for my Saturday workshop to begin?!), I saw a lone body behind the Enterprise counter and asked, 'are you really here?!' (yes, I was a bit delusional at this point :) after a giggle, she helped me through my rental, knocking $140 off the cost of my measly economy rental just because she could (and because I cringed at the $370 price tag she quoted).
Out at the booth to get my car, the employees were joking and looking forward to going home; I quipped 'let's get this chick her car and get out of here already!' they laughed, then proceeded to give me the car of my choice..for my economy price. Being told the BMW was finicky to drive :), I opted for the Infinity and am now driving a luxury sedan in Orlando for 11 days!
( I am still having trouble embracing this gift; silly me!)
Then! my Orlando workshop was at 5 when I flew; I arrived to find it up to 7-my Mt Dora was at a measly 7, and has now climbed to 15 with three more emails contacting me with interest.

Why, you ask, do I outline the events this way? Why do I feel so strongly that I need to share this with some bodies?!

I prayed; no, it seems too 'proper' to state it that way: I talked to God as I awaited the verdict of my delayed, then cancelled flight that morning. 
I walked with God. 
I simply said 'help me God' (over and over and over between the mixed thoughts and emotions rolling in my brain) and walked and listened. 
I spent the better part of my entire time at Seatac (arrived at 4:45am, departed at 2:30) walking and praying that simplest of prayers; 'Help me God.' There was no other way.
Alas, there is never any other way....

And, at the risk of not giving all these 'little things' proper credence, I know they all came to be because of the fact that I set my heart and mind to DO IT!-I'd been vacillating between getting myself back home and cancelling entirely as I was milling among the throngs of complaintive and concerned fellow travelers that swarmed the ticket counters-after all I had 'barely enough' students to make it worth (my) while, and it was a terrible time to risk travel....
Something came over me though; a sudden assurance and sense of determination; I would do it, even if I had to sleep in the airport overnight. 
I was committed and I would be steadfast. It is in this determination that I trusted unwaveringly in God's hand in it and his promise of everything working for good. I truly felt that even if I were to go down in an ice covered airplane, God's great good would be working; not the worldly assessment that it was pure, foolish folly to choose to fly in a storm.
 
If something can truly turn on a dime, this is the dime; that certain, consuming sense of determination. I have felt it just a few times over the past few years, but the more I do, the more confident I become and the more faith I embrace. 
And, the more closely and assuredly I walk with God in each and every decision, moment and move.
He comes through.
Always.
In spades :)
So gloriously worthwhile and blessed; in just this-the small things. It's that good :)
And oh! It's 80 degrees and sunny~
with a bursting heart,
trish
'Do you live expectantly? Do the little things excite you? Do you imagine the improbable and expect the impossible? Life is full and running over with opportunities to see God's hand in little things. Only the most sensitive of His servants see them, smile, and live on tiptoe. Chuck Swindoll