those darn changes I keep alluding to...

You know how things in life can seem like the real thing? Like all that you'd hoped for? Like, most definitely, no doubt about it, this is the 'it' I've been seeking? Yet-there is something in the background of it; something whispering in the recesses of your brain, telling you to listen! pause! take heed! tread gently! It can be so easy to ignore that whisper. So easy to settle in the 'it's good enough-I shouldn't expect better-take what I am getting'ness of it.
Thankfully, that something in the background has always been strong enough to rule over my self will and those things that shouldn't be, have fallen away. Some after long, arduous, hard-wrought years; others after just a few short weeks or months. But none have taken me out and all have fortified my strength.
Yet, some of those things that fell away have also returned. Remolded, with stretch marks and growth rings, some things that fell away return because they are taking on a new form and function in my newly remolded self :)
For instance my art. I had all but tossed it to the wind three years ago as I'd finished the book, needed a 'job' and begun working as the sign artist at the local Home Depot. 9-5er I am not and this lesson of life had me tearfully praying for direction and guidance in my career path. Blessings abound and today I am under contract for a second book; enjoying explosive creative days in the studio; thriving in traveling the country to enlighten eager encaustic workshop participants. What had fallen away has returned.
And my children. Last summer I did just about the bravest things I've ever done and kicked my oldest son out of the house. I thought he was gone for good; or at least a good long time. Floundering he is still. Lost he is still. Suffering he is still. But learning, and trying, and starting to see he is too. And turning back to me. Through prayers and gentle life reminders, Conner is turning in a way I never imagined yet always felt was possible for him. Time will tell, but again, what had fallen away has returned.
And then John. You remember him? I told you a bit about him on August 2, 2009(http://gingerfetish.blogspot.com/2009/08/love-pain.html). Gone he was. Completely and totally fallen away. Over. Kaput. Finis.
Life changes are amazing. God has taken John and me on our individual detours for the past year and a half, nuancing the things that were 'not right enough' and upgrading the things that were 'pretty darn right' until He felt we were ready to fall back together. A feat only He could pull off. A graceful dance ranking right up there with 'miracle'. Especially under the circumstances~
I committed to walking with God alone in 2010. My heart and mind embraced this commitment and I've been thriving in it since I made the declaration. Bumps and fears have arisen-you've been privy to them :), but overall the intense joy of this commitment can not be denied. God is shining brightly in my life and I could stand on the highest mountain and holler His graciousness to the world through a bullhorn for the joy of it all. Needless to say I didn't expect to find a life partner in this time: Most definitely not in one that I'd closed the door on!
And in that is the God-ness of it; He had different plans that all my, our, human fumbling couldn't come close to pulling off. A year and a half ago He put up detours on each of our paths until He got us each where He needed us to be for Him and each other. Now He's returned us each back to the main road-where we've run smack back into each other.
I struggled with my years' commitment and the seeming conflict this running into was creating. Then it dawned on me, yes, through much prayer!, that the commitment has nothing to do with who is in my life but rather how they are in my life. If I walk with God then anyone in my life is there in love, trust, faith and commitment. And if anyone falls into my life at this time, then I'd better look very hard from where they'd fallen~
Foundations in this love, trust, faith and commitment began for John and I three years ago, but have just now, because of the time apart and individual detours, been fortified to support more building.
Making a commitment to walk with God is not a solitary journey-as I'd envisioned upon my pronouncement. Rather it is a solidarity of spirits that is based on all that God is; love, trust and grace. So I continue my commitment by following where He is leading and reveling in the journey.
And now holding some one's hand. John and I are getting married. It would seem that I am the 'one' just around the corner holding the sign with his name on it :)
With our children to witness and our pastor to bless, we will say 'I do' in June. A commitment that will carry us into the rest of our lives. I am so amazingly crazily passionately loving this journey. in love. trish

Artiscape, spring and looking to summer

Artiscape was another rousing success and I again thrilled at the opportunity to share time and spirits with the wonderful art enthusiasts who graced my workshop door. One participant generously included me in her blog post and I can't sum it up any better; take a look-
http://janefarr.blogspot.com/2010/04/calligraphy-flourish-friday-artiscape.html

Spring is descending in the Northwest and it finds me with the studio windows and doors wide open as I invest time in meeting the second book deadlines, painting in a series that has called to me, and experimenting with new ideas that were gleaned at Artfest and Artiscape. One inspiration in particular set goosebumps going-a display at the marketplace vending at Artiscape. So wonderful was the inspiration, and resulting conversation with the vendor, that I will be traveling to her shop and studio in 2011 to offer encaustic inspirations to eager participants in North Carolina! Date as yet to be set, but check out her shop and spirit at www.randomartsnow.com. The work resulting from her inspiration will follow shortly :)

I am long overdue in posting new work! I will get on it in the days to come; I am busy trying to 'finish' it (am I ever finished?!) and submit it to CPS so you have to wait for seconds!....

That leaves me looking into summer. A surprise that's been being planned will be announced soon-probably next week!-but aside from this, I am really looking forward to Jerry's Artarama next month (www.jerrysartevents.com) then really jazzed to take a long road trip to Medford, Oregon (roguegallery.org)then on to Mendocino (http://mendocinoartcenter.org/PSS_Cart.54.LassoApp?category=189&feature2=Summer&skip=10). It will be a new experience at Medford, but this is my fourth trip to Mendocino Art Center and each time thrills me to be back! Would love to see some familiar faces at the 'advanced' day on July 3rd! Come indulge :)

Looking forward to a lot of blessings and smiles throughout the warm weather. What with the second book photo shoot on the far end, and opening with new venue visits, a change on the home front and a first time trip to the International Encaustic Conference, I think I'm slated for an exciting, prosperous few months. in love. trish

blogging

to write heals. It allows you to rethink your scattered thoughts and put them into words; allowing you to see in print your thoughts. To do this heals by shrinking fears connected to those scattered thoughts. Dreams become blueprints to life in these written words. keep on writing :) in love. trish.

jumped

Getting jumped. Jumping in. Jump start. Jumpin jack flash!
I've done it again! Do you get tired of hearing me write of the wonderment and stunning speed of my life now-a-days?! I believe this is par for the course when you choose to follow whole heartedly~
So, I've jumped in again. Full force. Both feet. Didn't even know there was somewhere and something else to jump to! I am up to my kneecaps with this one-In life; in experiencing; in grabbing the tiger by the tail....
Today I am in Indiana experiencing my first trade show. Tomorrow I teach in Ohio for a four day workshop and presentation time at www.artiscape.com. I'm thinking sleep wont come until sunday night :)
I'd like to think blogging will happen fluidly amongst all this rush of these next few months, but reality is a strong draft right now! I will have to make blogging a priority somewhere down the ordered list....I'll take good notes and write in my journal so as to catch up with you later though! I wont go far! And I will post updates and images when I can. If I'm away for awhile, don't leave me! SO much to come and so much to share-I wont disappoint; I promise! :) Perhaps you could find me in person at one of my workshops in the interim!
in love. trish.
I've added workshops~Medford Oregon in June www.roguegallery.org Mendocino California end of June and into July www.mendocinoartcenter.org Fort Collins Colorado in October www.theartistsnook.com and Canada-BC- in October as well! www.theupstartcrow.ca You can still find me in Wisconsin, Arizona and the Oregon coast tucked in between these commitments!

all is well and all is well and every manner of every thing is well

A new day. God bless the sun! Relaxing, rethinking, readjusting and thanks giving. in love. trish :)))

gingers

I took my boys back to the airport this morning so they could return 'home'. Feeling so desperately hollow as I watch them snake through the security check line to the conveyored xray machines. Their red heads towering above most the rest as they slowly proceed through the switch backs. I've watched this coming and going for over three years now and the pain of their departure, even in all its changed forms, has not grown easier. The tears welled undeniably as I tried to hide behind a smile.
They didn't appreciate me so much over this visit. We didn't connect or communicate with any depth or true heart this week. It felt as if they were filling obligatory time-doing the 'have to' in this routine of mom-and-dad-got-divorced. This is what it feels like to be a 'have to'....
I watched them put their shoes back on and sling their bags onto their backs realizing that it was no longer about anything I could do. Who they are and who they are becoming will not be determined by my presence in their lives. They grow up, they see their own path, their own choices before them and they see mine-judging and determining-fairly or not-for their own.
It can hurt so inexplicably to love so much. Sometimes I think 'if I'd only known....' in love. trish.

ArtFest recovery and spring break!

ArtFest was all that it professed to be, all that I could've hoped for of it and as intense of an event as I remembered from years past. I always leave exhilerated, yet a bit deflated because I know I haven't lived up to the expectations of all the participants. I am learning to let go of this though; ArtFest is the type of workshop experience in which it is virtually impossible to satisfy all the wants of every student. With 70 attendees over three separate workshop days, I can simply give what I plan and rarely get the pleasure of the deeper connections that happen in a three day workshop of all the same students. I've resigned to this though and work hard to give everything I can while I am there. Thus the tired eyes and buzzing brain still four days after returning! In addition, three of my four gingers are holding fort here as of 11:30 this morning :) Looking forward to much noise and unrest reigning for the next seven days!!!! blessings. in love. trish